When someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, you may want to fix everything — immediately. But the best help is often small, steady, and practical. Here’s what caregivers and friends told us works best:

1. Listen before you advise. Let your loved one talk about fears, hopes, and the small victories. Don’t feel the need to “cheer them up” immediately — validation matters more than platitudes.

2. Offer specific help. Instead of “Call me if you need anything,” say: “I can pick up groceries Tuesday” or “I’ll take the kids to school on Friday.” Concrete offers get used.

3. Help with tasks that drain energy. Appointments, bills, meal prep, and childcare are immediate needs. Even an hour of house help can restore dignity and calm.

4. Learn the language of treatment. Ask about side effects and how to help manage them — fatigue, nausea, or mood changes are common. But always follow medical advice; your role is supportive, not clinical.

5. Keep connecting socially. Invite them for short, low-pressure activities — a short walk, a movie night at home, or a gentle craft session. Normalcy is healing.

6. Watch for caregiver burnout. Supporting someone with cancer is emotionally intense — caregivers need rest, counselling, and peer support too.

What to avoid: clichés about “fighting” or “staying positive” that can feel dismissive. Avoid giving unsolicited medical opinions or comparing experiences. Instead, offer steady presence and respect their choices.

Anurakti runs caregiver circles and short training sessions to help families navigate this path. If you’d like practical support, reach out — small, compassionate acts make a big difference.